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10 Things I Wish for my Sons


I have 3 sons - they are all special to me in their own ways and have their own personalities I so admire.  David always seeks to please me and is one of the kindest human beings I have ever met (as a toddler he would let every child slide down the slide in front of him before taking his turn).  Adam is so quirky and constantly smiling, even when he can tell I'm frustrated.  And then there is Matthew, the toddler with the most serious stare-down you've ever seen who is totally fearless (at birth he even decided he could handle being on his own in the NICU for nearly a month without his twin or Mama!).

There are so many dreams and hopes we, as mothers, have for our children.  As David nears the end of his Kindergarten year and approaches his sixth birthday, I can't help but feel my baby and preschooler are no longer there - he doesn't want to sleep in my bed anymore, he wants his hair styled, and he can ask me questions that really make me think before I answer.  And as for my twins, Adam & Matthew, I still remember the feeling of shock and worry about whether or not I could continue living and handling twin boys - but here we are, at the nearly 2-year mark, personalities standing out loud and baby days gone.

Below are 10 lessons and hopes I want my 3 sons to learn before they are adults:

1.  Express your feelings
Please use your words and don't keep everything your feeling bottled up inside you.  Know that it's ok to be "sensitive" and that you don't have to be afraid to show others how you're feeling just because "you're a boy."  Show others empathy for their feelings as well.

2.  Take responsibility for yourself
Learn how to cook a meal, do the laundry, pick up your things and keep your space neat.  Don't wait and rely on anyone else to do it for you.

3.  Be respectful
Say "please" and "thank you" and "I'm sorry" when you know you should.  Respect people's feelings and be considerate of how you treat them, and above all, respect yourself and your body.

4.  Explore the World
Go on as many adventures as you can, and know that I'll always be your home. As far as Australia and as close as the Poconos - I hope you see it all and learn how other people live, so you can appreciate the world we are in and people's experiences and ways of life.

5.  You are each other's best friends and confidantes
You will have so many friends - you already do.  And I want you to have so many more...but never forget to remain loyal to each other and trust your brothers - no one can ever take one of their places.

6.  Gentleness is strength
Know that kindness comes a long way.  Being gentle doesn't mean you are weak.  It means you have the strength to change the world around you through kind actions.

7.  Face challenges with confidence
It's ok to feel confident and to show it.  Even when things feel difficult, or you're worried you won't get something done or right, or mommy's not there to tell you that you can do it, face it with a confident attitude and don't give up.  Know that you have to believe in yourself and have the right mindset to succeed.

8.  Make others work for your trust
I'm not saying I don't want you to trust anyone.  Just remember, that your trust isn't something you automatically give to people.  I don't want you to shut others out, but they need to earn your full trust from you.

9.  Use Your Education to Fulfill BIG Dreams
Your education is the best vehicle for making your life's wishes come true.  I hope you never stop learning.  Don't ever think for a second that you can't be something or get somewhere, because you CAN.  Use your knowledge to empower yourself and those around you.

10.  Don't forget Mommy was your First Love
Just know, I was the first girl to love you and I will always love you.  I expect you to respect every girl you meet with the same level of respect I expect towards me.  And some day I promise to learn to share you with another, but just know that until then, I am enjoying every second of being the only lady in your life.


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